I haven’t gone very “deep” in my blog lately. I’ll admit part of it is there are a lot more people reading it now than there used to be, (don’t be impressed, I had about 3 readers for the first 4 years of this blog) and I don’t want to bore anyone or (heaven forbid) offend anyone. But this is still my blog, and I want to be able to talk about issues that are on my mind on my blog. So I’ll warn you now, this is going to be a thoughtful/issue post, and if you would rather look at something lighter and more color, I recommend Pinterest.
The issue at hand is marriage. Or, more specifically, marriage with three kids. And, unlike most of my blogs that talk about various victories in my life (photography, teaching French, making healthy rainbow pancakes, etc.), this is a post that will talk about a seriously needs some work area of my life. And, just so you know, I’m not going to publish this post until Josh has read it and given his seal of approval. So, don’t worry, no surprises there.
Here is my confession: I have three kids that need me for pretty much every little thing in life. I feed them (and they all pretty much require being fed in a different way,) I wipe their bottoms (OK, Ava is exempt from that. For the most part.), I play with them, I clean up after them, I discipline them…and I could continue this list, but I’m sure you’ve gotten the idea by now. Well, anyway, the confession part is, since we have been a family of 5, I have not put that much thought into taking care of my husband. He’s an adult. I’m not wiping his bottom.
OK, OK, so I’ve never wiped his bottom, and he’s never asked me to wipe his bottom…but I couldn’t resist.
But there are ways that I could be taking care of my husband that I have neglected. I could be providing him with more nutritious meals and encouraging him to meet his weight loss goal by not demanding so much of his time so that he can exercise. I could give him a massage after he carries around our children or furniture all day. Josh’s love language is Physical Touch, and after a day of handling the kids, the last thing I want to do is touch another person. But I could fight that gut instinct that screams I NEED MY SPACE!!! and give my husband a kiss when he comes home from work. I could do a better job at cleaning the house so that he feels welcome in his own home…and so that he doesn’t have to spend precious time that he could do other things with cleaning the house. (Because he’s one of the rockin’ hubbies that will do that without being asked!)
Do you get what I’m saying? Well it doesn’t really matter if you do, because I do, and it’s my marriage I’m talking about. But it’s always nice to know that I’m making sense.
When I got married, my mom gave me a book called The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Well, I didn’t read the whole thing, but the title alone tells me that I should be taking care of my husband. (At least, the Gospel According to Dr. Laura says that I should…) And it really is not much to ask, because my husband has been taking such good care of the 4 of us. I’m serious. I’ve had friends randomly ask me, “How did you teach Josh to [do the dishes, wash the cloth diapers, do x with your kids, etc.]?” The answer is, I didn’t. He just does it. And he doesn’t complain.
Oh, and did I mention he works a full time job, and then works a contracting job when the kids go to bed so that he can support our family?
I think the least I could do is check on how he’s doing every once in a while and see if he needs anything. I mean, even waitresses that we don’t know do that.
Older women likewise are to…encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
(Titus 2:3-5 NAS, emphasis mine)