This morning, I was running on very little sleep, thanks to my own late hours and Egan’s current sleeping habits. I flipped on PBS for Egan, and sat with a mug of coffee for a few minutes before I took a shower. I checked Angie’s blog, and found this post that she wrote on her deceased daughter Audrey’s fifth birthday. Although it was actually a pretty cool post about how God had orchestrated some things in her life lately, I found myself weeping.
And I really wasn’t sure why.
But I think that I was reminded of something. Something so very, very simple that I needed reminding of. And I thought I would write it on here, just in case there’s someone else that needs reminding.
God has not forgotten.
He has not forgotten the big stuff.
He has not forgotten that we had to sign a deed in lieu on a house we could not sell and our credit score bares the scars.
He has not forgotten that our little church has struggled to reach out to the community and grow for 3 years to [what seems like] no avail.
He has not forgotten that we have 3 children that need to be educated and raised in an increasingly scary culture.
He has not forgotten that I often lay awake at night fighting fears.
He has not forgotten my dreams.
He has not forgotten that we want to grow our family.
He has not forgotten that what I’ve REALLY wanted to do since I was Ava’s age is be an author.
He has not forgotten that I dream to use photography on a trip with Compassion International.
He has not forgotten that I would love to sing in some sort of choir again someday.
He has even not forgotten the silly things.
He has not forgotten that I wish my house was more asthetically pleasing.
He has not forgotten that I have yet to find the perfect jeans for my body or running shoes for my feet.
And, if you’re still reading this, I want to make sure that you know that He has not forgotten YOU.
He has not forgotten your marriage.
He has not forgotten your finances.
He has not forgotten your losses.
He has not forgotten your children.
He has not forgotten your fears.
He has not forgotten your dreams.
He has not forgotten how badly you were wronged.
He has not forgotten your unemployment.
He has not forgotten your infertility.
He has not forgotten the babies you never got to hold.
He has even not forgotten your “silly things”!
Even if you don’t know Him, he knows all about you, and He has not, and will not forget anything about you!
This is not a prosperity gospel. God doesn’t give us everything that we want. What kind of good parent does that?! There may be some things on my list that, from my perspective, are left unfulfilled. But that doesn’t mean God forgot them.
And I know that, if this is something you have struggled with, there are lots of questions. Why did God let this happen? What good could possibly come out of this? and so on, and so forth. And the purpose of this post is not to try to answer those questions.
But sometimes, it really helps to be reminded that He remembers. And I need to stop living like He doesn’t.
These photos are of love letters that my Grandad wrote my Grandmother in the 30s. My Dad found them after his funeral. This is just a small fraction of them!