More Sunday Silliness (Week 4)

This is going to be a potpourri of silliness.

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A Fun Ava Conversation from the Week

Ava: (seeing the bag of M&Ms that I had obviously been eating during her nap time) Mommy, I don’t think these are a good snack.
Me: Why not?
Ava: I think they are more appropriate for dessert.

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A Sweet Trick Played on Silly-Old-Me

Last night, I was headed to a girls’ night at my friend Jackie’s apartment. Or so I thought. I arrived to find about three times more people than I was expecting, including one of my out-of-town BFFs, Lauren, and they were there to have a shower for Baby Linker #3! How incredibly thoughtful! It was a lot of fun, and we are SO blessed to have received so many of the cloth diapers we are registered for! Now, go back to that last Sweet post, because I would like to continue to gush, gush, gush about how great my friends are!

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Some Info You Might Need to Know
in case of surprise baby shower!

~ A baby swan is called a cygnet. Knowing this might just win you a Butterfinger! (A baby eel is called an elver. Yeah, none of us knew that.)
~ It’s about 15 toilet paper squares around my tummy. Actually, I did not count the squares, but if you need to know how big around I am, ask Kathy. She got the Butterfinger.
~ They make tattoos for cakes now. It’s pretty cool!
~ Kittens love playing with the plastic party table cloths, providing hours of entertainment both for guests and kitty alike!
~ You put 10-ish moms in a room together at a baby shower, and birth stories are going to come out. Why be shy, anyway???
~ My friends are awesome! OK, that wasn’t silly, but you know…gush, gush, gush!

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Some Info You Would be Perfectly Fine Not Knowing
but I will tell you, anyway!

~ We are down to one chewable Maalox…and I don’t have the time to shop for more until Tuesday. Tuesday, people! Do you realize how far Tuesday is away for an 8 month prego mommy with a burning esophagus??? (mmmmk, we might have to build some Monday shopping time into this equation…)
~ There’s a mole (large freckle?) below my belly button that I don’t like. There, I said it. I tell you this now, because I’m going to show you something later this week (probably, you know, if I remember and all that,) and I figured maybe it won’t bother me as much if everyone already knows about the large freckle (that sounds better!) Don’t worry, it won’t be anything to get my blog racey ratings!

‘Tis so sweet…to have good girlfriends! (Week 4)

Last week, I had a blast taking “1 Year Pictures” of my two favorite almost-one-year-olds, Aurora (Cynthia’s daughter) and Emma (Tiffany’s daughter.) They both have February birthdays, about 5 days apart from each other, and I wanted to be sure to get some sweet pics of them now just-in-case my own February bambino comes a little early! Since we met at a park with a playground, mine and Tiffany’s older kids also benefited from the shoot! Since I am writing about friendship, I thought that these pics might be fun to use!

I remember being a kid, and friendship being a really big deal. And I remember that everyone had a “best” friend…except for me! (Although I did, from time-to-time, have friends that referred to me as their “best” friend, or had friends that I referred to as my “best” friend, I would, eventually, grow apart from that person, either because we were separated physically, or because she had another strong friendship that became more convenient.) And I think, that, in the stress I created for myself in worrying about whether or not I truly had a “best” friend, I missed for so many years how beautiful it is to have a group of GOOD friends! And now, at the young, impressionable age of 24, I am finally able to see the beauty of the friendships that I am blessed to be able to be a part of!

I read an article in a periodical of psychology of very high reputation (or maybe it was Parenting magazine…) on the “6 Friends Every Mom Needs” some time ago. Although I’ve never really thought of friendship in categories before, I was amazed, once I did think about it, how true it was! And I am, so very very blessed, to have such beautiful, amazing friends, some of them mothers, some of them not, to come along side me and offer their friendship! So, I guess this post is just to, well, gush, about how much I appreciate them, and how much I appreciate the fact that the end of grade school is not the end of having girlfriends. Because, truth be told, I appreciate my friendships much more now than I ever did as a child or even as a teenager.

I have been blessed with out-of-town friends who still keep in touch and care about my family…and I probably will write a whole post dedicated to them later on! But, today, I am thinking about the friendships God has given me here, where I am. Each lady is so unique and incredible, and for some reason, they still hang out with me!

Case in Point #1: Wednesday, I had a doctor’s appointment, and even though I can take the kids with me, after my previous week’s experience, I did not want to take them with me. Tiffany had originally planned to keep my kiddos, but 2 out of her 3 kids woke up sick that morning. So I contacted Melanie at the last minute, and she said, “Sure, bring them over!” Josh and I had lunch together, went to the doctor, AND pre-registered for the hospital, and because it was the 2 of us, it actually was an enjoyable experience! (AND we actually were able to discuss baby names…so if we have a girl, she may have a name after all!)

Case in Point #2: Wednesday, while going to the store to pick up tissues and such for her sick family, Tiffany calls me to see if I need anything while she’s out. She knew I was getting low on food and didn’t want me to have to go out to just buy a few things.

Case in Point #3: I was having trouble coordinating my family’s wardrobe last night (Why were you coordinating your wardrobe? you ask? You will see at a later date!), so I contact Jackie, who at the last minute spontaneously comes over to helps me, and ends up taking me to the mall to help me pick up a few things we determined we needed.

Case in Point #4: Cynthia has made arrangements for her family to be taken care of at a moment’s notice just so she can hang out with us at the hospital while I’m in labor. (Well, it will be like “hanging out…” but probably a lot less fun!) Who needs a doula when you have an awesome friend?!

OK, so that is just 4 examples of how 4 of my “BFFs” here in town have blessed me this week! Now, don’t tell me that friendship does not get sweeter with age!

“Formal” Education Has its Merits (Serious, Week 4)

Yesterday, Lacey pointed out that a lot of times, us moms only put the happy, successful parts of our lives on the internet. We’re not willing to allow people to see the yucky, imperfect parts. She challenged us to reveal something not-so-great about ourselves. Well, there are tons of not-so-great things about this Linker chick…

One of the things that’s not-so-great about me is that, even though I feel that I am called first and foremost right now to be a good mother to my kids, I have no idea how to get education started for my children on my own. Right now, I would venture to say that it’s a trend amongst large (and some smaller!) Christian families to homeschool. I think a Christian homeschooling family is a beautiful thing, and some of the most well-rounded children/people I have ever met come from that background. To be able to choose a curriculum that you know is God-honoring, and to be able to focus on actual education and not just passing standardized tests, and to be the primary teacher of your kids…well it is beautiful! However, it is something that I currently don’t want to do. I have a desire to have a big family and to be at home with my children while they are little, but I don’t have a desire to homeschool. And it’s probably because I’m selfish. Homeschooling sounds like a whole lot of stress and responsibility…and I’m not sure if I can handle that or want to handle that!

SO, whether or not my motives for not homeschooling are good, we have already began the process of letting our children, or at least our oldest child, receive some education outside of the home. I did not think we would be able to send Ava to any type of school until next fall, when she would be old enough for our state’s free Voluntary Pre-K program. We simply cannot afford any extra expenses right now, including tuition for preschool! But, I am incredibly blessed with parents who also believe that organized preschool has a lot of merits, and they volunteered to pay if we got Ava into a good preschool program.

As soon as I realized that this was an option, I knew exactly what preschool I wanted Ava to go to. My friend, Amanda, had been singing the praises of her son, Layton’s preschool ever since I met them. Not only is it held in and sponsored by a Methodist church nearby, but it is unashamedly Christian and oriented as a ministry. The teachers are not just babysitters; they are actively involved with the children and their learning. AND they offer a variety of different length programs, including a two day a week, half day program which is exactly what I wanted for Ava. I toured the preschool and met Ava’s future teacher, Miss Donna, and loved what I saw…although I was sold before I ever went! If you’re looking for a new, state-of-the-art preschool building, this one is certainly not for you, but if you’re looking for a place where your child is going to be loved and taught on a real and personal level, this is the place! So I put Ava on the waiting list. And we waited.

And it was looking like we weren’t going to get in. And I started to wonder if I should have put Ava on some other waiting lists around town. But I didn’t really want for her to go anywhere else, so I decided not to worry about it. And then, two weeks before the program started in the fall…we found out Ava was in! (I think her getting in had more to do with our friendship with Amanda than whether or not they really had an opening…thanks, Amanda!)

And let me just say, we all love preschool! Ava loves it! Josh and I love it! And I would venture to say, since two mornings a week Izzy gets me all to himself, Izzy loves it, too! A lot of my love for preschool has to do with Ava’s incredible teacher. She’s been teaching for 30 years, and it is definitely her “thing”! When I pick Ava up, I can expect, without having to ask, a full report on how well Ava’s doing emotionally, socially, and academically. Miss Donna believes in kids having as many hands-on learning experiences as possible, and she’s not afraid to let the kids get dirty. Her classroom has everything from a home living center to computers to pets! Ava has a tendency to be really shy, and sometimes get upset, when we leave her with a large group of children, but we have very, very few problems with that at preschool, and I really think that a lot of that has to do with how Miss Donna engages her as soon as she walks in the door.

And the learning, I can’t go on enough about how much learning Ava has done at preschool! I managed to teach her A, B, and C at home, and I could not seem to get beyond that point! I just did not know how to make learning the basics of grammar fun, which is essential for a preschooler. Now, Ava reads and writes lots of letters AND numbers, and she is constantly surprising me with new knowledge.

(These are the letters/numbers Ava has been working on this week. Can you tell what they are???)

I’ve also found that teaching at home comes a lot more easily to me now that a foundation of knowledge is being built for Ava at preschool. I can now just piggy-back on to whatever she is learning at school instead of having to come up with things from scratch.

So, all that goes to say, I have found I need some help when it comes to educating my children, and I feel so blessed that we have been placed in a position to where Ava can start her education at such a great preschool. I’m sure there will be many, many more education posts in the future, as each of our children and their academic needs will be completely different!

(Here is Izzy, sporting his Sissy’s backpack and some of her outerwear, informing me he was all ready to go to school! You still have some time at home with me, buddy! Not pictured: his feet were bare!)

I do want to put one of my many disclaimers here…Please do not feel that you will be judged by me regardless of what route you take to educate your children. Every family is different, and you choose what is best for your family! Homeschooling, private, and public schooling all have merits, and it is beautiful that we live in a country where are allowed to pick what is best.

And, for good measure, here’s another disclaimer…Even though I don’t want to right now, I could end up homeschooling someday. And it’s perfectly fine to say “I told you so” if that ever happens.

January’s Supermom Post!

Well, I don’t quite have the inspiration yet for my Serious post, so I figured that this would be a good time to do my Supermom post for January. Of course, this means that I’ll need to come up with 3 more blog posts in 4 days…but who doesn’t like a good challenge every once in a while? I’ll go ahead and warn you that, if you are not a homemaker of any kind, you might find this entry quite boring!

So here are the things that I’ve done this month that make me feel like wearing a cape with a huge “M” on my chest. (Or maybe my big round belly!) And I’ll do this in bullets, since that seems to be the only way I can function as of late!

~ Continuing my journey into the world of cloth. I’ve been cloth diapering since last August, so that is not new news. But as I go, I discover ways that I can save a little money by using cloth for things I typically wouldn’t. I mean, I’m washing every other day, anyway, why not toss some other things in with the load? So, I cut up some more T-shirts (I was already using T-shirt scraps for my cloth wipes), and now I have a basket of very versatile rags in my kitchen! They can be used for napkins, wipes, and cleaning rags!

I keep a bottle of my wipe solution in the kitchen for mild cleaning jobs and to create wipes to clean up my kids after they eat. Although some people find it questionable whether cloth diapering saves any money (if you look at the initial cost of the diapers and then your electricity/water bill going up…I still think it saves money, but I’m just saying…) I see using cloth wipes in the kitchen as complete financial gain! I no longer have to buy napkins, paper towels, or Clorox wipes (I do, as you can see, keep environmental friendly cleaner on hand,) and, as I’ve already mentioned, I was already doing the laundry, anyway! I have a cute little trash bucket with a lid from the Dollar Tree that I keep on the counter to collect dirty wipes, and then I just dump them in with the diapers when I wash them! (And, in case you’re worried, I can TOTALLY tell the difference between the wipes I use on Izzy’s bottom and the wipes I use in the kitchen…they come from different T-shirts and are different colors and sizes! AND my parents just donated some of their old cloth napkins to the cause, so if you come over to my house to eat, I won’t have to give you a T-shirt scrap to wipe your face on!)

A second thing I have done in the “World of Cloth” is transition to using reusable shopping bags. Now, since reusable shopping bags do have an initial cost (unless you’re super crafty and make them yourself out of curtains or something), I cannot say that using reusable bags is a money save-er, per say, but it is definitely better for the environment! The bags hold A LOT more than plastic shopping bags, and are also VERY handy to have hanging around for moms. I mean…you see some nice pine cones at the park that would be perfect for crafting…you pick them up and toss them in your reusable bag! Dirty clothes bag for an overnight trip? Grab a reusable bag! You’re a bridesmaid and need something that gives you easy access to hairspray, bobby pins, make-up, and other miscellaneous supplies? Yep, reusable bag! Have a bunch of small wrapped Christmas gifts to transport to your in-laws? Reusable bag! (And yes, these are all real examples from my own life.) And they are actually cheap! I had not bought them before because I thought they were super expensive (like, $1 each,) but Wal-Mart has them in abundance for $.50 each. (I promise that Wal-Mart does not pay me to blog about them…it’s just the only store we can usually afford!)

Here are my bags after my BIG monthly grocery trip. This is a month’s worth of food for us (minus the 8 more gallons of milk we have to buy throughout the month,) and only 4 plastic bags had to be used! (I later found a couple more reusable bags in my garage that probably would have eliminated any need for plastic, but oh, well.) And all of my bags were either free or $.50 each. (Well, the pink one was $1 at Publix, but what can I say, it’s pink!)

My biggest challenge with the reusable bags? Remember to actually take them into the store with me. Yeah, that can be a problem sometimes.

~ Cooking. Everyone knows how happy it makes me to get my Betty Crocker on. Some things I’ve made this month for the first time ever?

~ Fettuccini Alfredo. Typically we only eat this in restaurants, but I decided to try it at home. I had NO IDEA how heavy/fattening this stuff is!!! But, according to my friend Tiffany’s baby, it’s pretty good!

~ White bread!!! I got some new, large loaf pans for Christmas and made my first homemade bread! (I’ve been making yeast rolls for some time now, but didn’t have what I needed to make bread in loaf form.) I LOVE bread (especially fresh yeast bread with Brummel and Brown on it!) so this was a big deal for me!

OK, so that’s the only new stuff I made this month…well that and those cookies I told you about the other day…but I am 8 months pregnant…

~ Organizing. With a lot of help from SUPERDAD!

Our house is often a disaster of discarded toys. It was getting to the point where I was going crazy, especially when I saw all the new toys the kids got for Christmas and realized we didn’t have anywhere to put them; even if we got rid of a lot of toys, the only thing we had to put toys in were plastic bins and baskets, and now that our kids are growing into toys that have multiple parts (as opposed to teething rings and stuffed animals!), that organization system was just not cutting it any more! It’s still a work in progress, but now we have…

Drawers for different kinds of little toys. I would have LOVED to get some kind of book shelf system with cubbies and baskets for the little toys, but we just can’t afford that! But at least, with this, since the toys are sort of categorized, the kids won’t pull every toy out of the box when they’re trying to find something that’s on the bottom! I had planned to put pictures on the drawers that indicate what kind of toys go in each one, but I haven’t gotten around to it, and so far Ava’s done good at keeping things separate! We also have…

Shelving (a unit that we already had and were able to clean off) for the bigger toys. Before, all of the big toys that didn’t fit in the box were kind of piled in a corner (when the room was clean.) Now, they are on the shelves so the kids can easily find them and return them to their proper place. When we move to our new house, I would like to have a shelving unit in each child’s room to serve this purpose, but this will work nicely for now!

Another major problem I’ve been having is with Ava and her shoes. The child is like me…she cannot. find. her. shoes. – even if her life depends on it AND they are in the middle of the floor! It had gotten to the point that I felt like we were having knock-down-drag-outs over…shoes! Plus, her floor would be covered with shoes…and all of the matches would be missing, I kid you not! Finally, after a heated altercation between me and her that resulted in her screaming in her room for an hour while Josh was on a conference call in his home office and I was running errands (she would have been with me had she found her shoes), SUPERDAD stepped in and built…

…a shoe organizer in her night stand! Her night stand had this huge open space that, for a preschool bedroom, was virtually not usable, so Josh converted it to this! Now, every shoe has its place, and Ava has strict rules that, if the shoes are not on her feet, they are in the cubbies…or else! (Fortunately, we have not had problems yet, so I haven’t had to figure out what “or else” means!) What, it’s so amazing, you would like to see it again?

No problem!

So that is my first Supermom post of the year! Hopefully, February’s Supermom post will involve childbirth…b/c if it doesn’t, that will mean that baby is LATE and I will not be a happy camper!

Sunday Silliness (Week 3)

First of all, I forgot a major “Sweet” thing that I meant to put in my last post! My pastor and his wife volunteered to watch our kids last Monday night so that we could use a restaurant gift certificate they had given us for Christmas…so we were able to squeeze in one more fancy date before this baby comes! Very, very SWEET, in more ways than one! (I mean, the Key Lime pie…whoa!)

I’m a day late with my Silly post because my parents were super wonderful and came to stay with me while Josh was out-of-town for a business trip. So I watched Ballet Shoes with my mom last night instead of blogging. Yeah, you would have done it, too!

Everyone has quirks, I am sure. So I figured, for my Silly post, I would take the plunge and be a little transparent about my oddities. You know, this is one of those we-are-all-human-so-we-shouldn’t-feel-so-bad-about-ourselves type posts…once you know some weird things about me, you won’t feel nearly as bad about yourself, which means I will have accomplished something for the good of mankind today! So, in bullets, here are some weird things about Kara:

~ I don’t use my dishwasher. Ever. When Josh and I got married, we didn’t have a dishwasher in our first apartment, so of course I had to wash all my dishes by hand. However, since then, we have lived two places that have had dishwashers, and I never, ever used either one of them. “But why?” you ask! My reasoning goes something like this: I find dishwashing to be a rather soothing experience; If I wash every day (which I really should) then there really won’t be that many dishes to wash at a time; Surely it saves us a little on our electricity bill!; Half of my dishes/pots/cooking utensils are cheap plastic or odd shaped and therefore wouldn’t be put in the dishwasher anyway; I trust myself to clean something more than I trust the dishwasher; etc, etc. But really and truly? It’s the way I’ve always done it, and if I ever started using the dishwasher, I’m sure I would love it and never go back!

~ I have public bathroom anxiety. We’ll just leave that one right there!

~ I cannot multi-task or concentrate on multiple things at one time. I also cannot concentrate on reading something or listening to someone talking if there is background noise (like another person’s conversation or the television.) The more children I have, the more noticeable and frustrating this characteristic is becoming! Am I the only mother who has to take extreme measures to get my preschoolers to be quiet just so I can think???

~ I like to wait until all of my towels have been used before I wash them. Since we were super blessed with LOTS of towels as wedding presents, that means that I end up having to wash about 5 loads of towels on “towel day.” And almost every time, Josh says, “We should wash towels more often.” We probably should.

~ I could eat a cheeseburger every day and be perfectly happy. I don’t know if that’s a quirk or not, but there it is. (I also could eat M&Ms every day…oh wait, I do!)

~ I make A LOT of lists. To-do lists. Grocery lists. Menus. Packing lists. Gift lists (particularly around Christmas.) After writing a list, I immediately feel less stress, even though I have not actually done anything that’s on the list yet. Losing a list before all the items are checked off can be a major crisis. And, yes, in accordance with one of the quirks above, I have to have complete silence so that I can write my list!

~ In my opinion, holiday M&Ms taste better than regular M&Ms. (Christmas colors are the best, but Easter colors are not far behind!) Dark chocolate M&Ms are the best, unless they are competing with holiday M&Ms. Therefore, dark chocolate M&Ms in holiday colors are THE best M&Ms. Period.

~ I may not always “agree” with it (agree in quotes b/c I’m not sure what I would be agreeing/disagreeing with! I just mean that the writers are writing from a worldview/angle that I do not share!), but I watch Glee (on-line b/c my kids are still awake when it comes on, and regardless of what anyone says, it is NOT kid/family friendly!). I also, for the most part, really like the music; it is on my Pandora station (right there with David Crowder and SuperChick) and I have three of the albums which I am known to play pretty regularly. THERE. If nothing else in the post made you feel better about yourself, I’m sure that did!

OK, that’s enough Silliness for this Sunday afternoon! I am proud to “announce” that one other person has jumped on my Blog-Project-That-Doesn’t-Really-Have-a-Name-but-Involves-Posting-Three-Times-a-Week bandwagon, so I guess we really do have a bandwagon now! So hop on over to Jen’s blog to check out her version of the…well, I’m not going to type all that again! She just introduced a new category, Skinny Saturday, and although I am not going to be able to make any weightloss related posts for a couple months, I know some of you might be interested! ::Edit – NOT because any of you need to lose weight! Just because some of you are interested in eating right and exercising! Have I covered my tail now???:: (She has friends’ lock, but says she’s not opposed to meeting new people. )

Happy Sunday!

Week 3’s “Sweet” in Bullets

There are times that I forget the sweet things in life, and yesterday was one of those times. We spent the morning with the kids fighting over their new Christmas toys. This is not typical, they usually share, or atleast co-exist, pretty well with only occassional sharing-related skirmishes. I knew that I should find a craft or something that could occupy them and remove them from the causes of their conflicts, but I was drawing a blank! We spent the afternoon at the O.B. office – which, you know is ALWAYS fun with two kids, especially the appointments that they tell you to strip down, and then they leave you waiting for at least half an hour in that state. By the time we were done, I was too exhausted and hungry to even attempt to go to church.

So, today is a new day, and I knew that I needed to deliberately look for some sweet things in life, if for no other reason, so that I’d have some material for this blog! So here are some of the sweet things I have thought of:

~It’s pretty SWEET that, when we were preparing a meal for a friend who had a surgery last Friday, Izzy and Ava worked together to make some cookies!

This was Izzy’s first time showing interest in our baking, and I was pleasantly surprised that they shared a chair to stand on and didn’t fight while stirring together. (They definitely got stickers on the “Sharing” chart for that!)

The cookies were pretty SWEET, too! This isn’t a Supermom post, but I will note here that, for someone like me who likes the flavor of gingerbread, but doesn’t like the hardness of gingerbread cookies, Betty Crocker’s Soft Molasses Cookies are the perfect compromise, and a great way to use up some of the leftovers of baking supplies purchased for Christmas projects! (Or at least, they were for me!)

~ It’s pretty SWEET that I got to meet my December couple on Saturday for their engagement shoot, as well as their gorgeous 5 year old daughter!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that, on the way home from the shoot, I stopped at an Outlet Mall and found Josh a pair of jeans for $15 and a pair of khakis for $8! Josh is sort of an awkward size (he is right in-between the regular men’s sizes and the big and tall sizes), so it is not often that pants that fit him can be acquired so inexpensively! It’s also pretty SWEET that I was able to nab a bunch of fun socks for me for super cheap!

Maybe someday I’ll write a Silly post regarding my relationship with my socks!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that Tuesday night I got to meet my June couple and sign a contract with them! We have been communicating about me shooting their wedding for almost a year, but this is the first time we’ve been able to meet! The bride is due to have a little boy 4 days after our baby is due, so I feel like we have a pretty good connection right now!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that I am in the process of setting up a consultation with my August bride! If all goes well, I will have 5 weddings for 2011, and that is ALL I plan to do!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that I found out yesterday that the baby is in the position he/she needs to be, and I’m already a teeny-tiny bit dialated!

~ That being said, it’s pretty SWEET that Izzy gets to be my baby, and THE baby, for a little while longer!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that my hubby single-handedly took care of the kids’ bedtime process last night so that I could remain glued to the couch. It’s also pretty SWEET that he then went and got me a Wendy’s Frosty. But the “frosties” that Josh makes at home are even SWEETER, so I’m going to only be putting in requests for those from here on out.

~ It’s pretty SWEET that Ava goes to preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings! For me, it’s a time to catch up on housework and read Izzy his Lightning McQueen book at least a couple times. For Izzy, it’s a time to play with those new Christmas toys without being disturbed!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that I have a clean kitchen right now. That’s not always the case!

~ It’s pretty SWEET that I still have one bottle of my favorite hand soap EVER!

I’ll enjoy it while I can, b/c once it’s gone, I’ll have to wait until the next Christmas season to buy any more!

~ It’s pretty SWEET to see the paper chain that our family made to count down to the new baby’s E.T.A. (Not my idea!)

It looks long right now, but I know that it’s going to be gone in no time!

Parenting is Challenging, Year 4 Edition (Serious, Week 3)

***Edit: Yeah, it’s not corporate punishment, it’s corporal. I’m going to blame pregnancy brain on that. I think I’ve fixed that mistake now!***

So, as mentioned in my last “Sweet” post, I have two kids: one age 4, and one age 2. Parenting is always a challenge, but it seems like when Ava turned 4, some of those challenges multiplied exponentially! I feel pretty comfortable working with two different age groups: the 2 and under crowd, and the 1st – 5th grade crowd. The 2 and under crowd is, well, just sweet to work with! I’m great at changing diapers (cloth, disposable, you name it!), cuddling, nursing my own or bottle feeding others, baby food, cleaning up messes, singing lullabies, kissing booboos, etc.! The 1st – 5th grade crowd represents children that can read and possess some reasoning skills. Although I don’t have children of my own in that age group yet, I have worked with many, many elementary age children in my experiences with camp and children’s ministry, and I would venture to say that I’m not that bad at working with them. So, anyway, if you’re paying attention, you can see that Ava currently doesn’t fit in either of these age groups. She is sort of in a childhood no-man’s land for me, and I’m having an interesting time learning how to forge a path through it! So here, in bullets, are some of the challenges I’m facing as a parent of a four year old, and what Josh and I are doing to face these challenges.

~ The Challenge of Spiritual Growth
With my little babies, spiritual training comes pretty naturally to me. I sing them praise songs. We read them picture books with Bible stories. We have a daily prayer time. I feel like, for infants and young toddlers, most of their spiritual training will come from watching the spiritual behaviors of mommy and daddy. But now, Ava is older and she needs more structured training. I have to pay much, much more attention to her actions and words to pick up on what she knows and doesn’t know about our faith. I have to realize what are “teachable moments” for her and how to go about teaching the needed lessons. We want her to see that Christianity is NOT a list of “do’s and don’ts”, but a relationship with a real Savior. And that is hard to do with a child who’s reasoning is still very literal – it’s much easier to accidentally teach a preschooler a “works theology” than a “faith theology,” and that could have some serious lasting effects on their worldview! Plus, since Ava is not reading on her own yet, she is totally dependant on us for spiritual instructions – we cannot expect her yet to dive into the Scriptures herself.

So, what are we doing about this? I had already mentioned in a previous post that we were trying to decide how to read the Bible to Ava this year. After spending a few weeks thinking about it, I decided that instead of using a reading plan created by someone else, we would just create our own! We are largely focusing on the four Gospels this year. I feel like Ava is old enough to start hearing and understanding the events that surrounded the birth, life, and death of our Savior. However, I do not want to totally leave the Old Testament out, since I want her to also begin to understand the importance of the Old Testament and how it points to Jesus. After reading multiple fantastic reviews of it, we have ordered The Jesus Storybook Bible to use to teach Ava some Old Testament stories. We will not read it every day (it is a paraphrase of about 50 select stories, not a literal translation of the Bible,) but maybe about once a week we will pull it out and read a story with her!

We are also introducing Scripture memory to her this year. I sat down and made a list of about 9 verses/short passages that I think should be the first one she commits to memory. I have no idea if she’ll be able to memorize them in one year or not, so I’m not really setting a time limit on this project! I have made a chart of the first 4 verses, and have developed a reward system to encourage her to keep the verses fresh in her mind! Will blog more on that as I see if it is working or not! So far, she has memorized the first half of the Shema pretty well, and now we are working on the second half! Josh and I also think that this will be really great for us to refresh ourselves on the memory verses, too!

~ The Challenge of Discipline
About a year ago, I did a survey on parenting for a grad student friend, and one of the questions was, “What is the most challenging aspect of parenting to you?” Discipline wins, hands down! I really dislike disciplining. It’s intimidating to me to think that the way I discipline my children will have such a strong influence on the way they will live for the rest of their lives.

Ava is in a difficult stage for me to discipline with. In my 2 and under crowd, my disciplining is pretty simple: I point out and praise good behavior, I completely ignore temper tantrums when it is possible to avoid encouraging that kind of behavior, I use time-out in a crib or play pin, and, for serious offenses, a pop on the upper thigh may be used. With my 1st – 5th grade kids, I plan to adopt a contractual system that one of my psychology professors successfully used with her children; the child is required to write their own contract, recording the offense, and recording their own punishment. Then the parent can negotiate the punishment with the child. (I’ve been told that children will give themselves harsher punishments than their parent would have, so then you actually get to negotiate the punishment down in severity as opposed to up. I hope that is the case with my kids!) However, Ava is now too old for my 2 and under “techniques,” and yet not old enough to start writing contracts.

I firmly believe that a punishment should A) fit the crime, and B) be something that the child will remember and want to avoid. I’m not here to write an essay on my thoughts on corporal punishment (this time!), but I will say that my current thought process regarding corporal punishments is that it A) should be used as a last resort (this helps me avoid doing it out of anger), B) should only be used for select and serious negative behaviors, and C) should only be used if it is actually effective for a child. (I also have a personal policy of not spanking other people’s children, even if they have given me permission to. I think that corporal punishment is something that should only be handled by the parent, and if their offense severe enough to possibly merit a spanking, I will let the parent know about it and they can take care of it however they see fit. Just wanted to throw that out there in case I babysit your kids! ) Honestly, Ava’s getting to a point where spanking is just not that effective for her, and I’m having to be a little more creative with her punishments. For example, to me, a child telling a lie is a very serious issue. A lie is an offense of the tongue, so I have found myself adopting the old-school punishment of washing Ava’s mouth out with soap when she is caught in a lie! I don’t know if it is the best technique or not (I make her stick her tongue out and rub a wet bar of soap on it for 10 seconds, if you really want to know how I go about doing that!), but she certainly does not enjoy it and it seems to get the point across! So, all that goes to say, we are still working on figuring out what punishments are most effective and how to go about administering them.

Another discipline challenge I have is actually reinforcing good behavior. A lot of times I forget that children need it pointed out when they are behaving in a positive way! And how do you go about rewarding them for good behavior without breaking the bank or giving them a sense of entitlement? To help me with this issue, I have adopted yet another idea from MckMama: behavior charts.

About a week ago, while I had Ava doing something crafty, I sat down with her at the table and created these charts. I targeted 4 behaviors that she has trouble with (a couple of them Izzy does, too!), made a column for her and a column for Izzy on each one, and taped them to the pantry. On the side of the pantry, I taped up a homemade pocket full of sheets of stickers. When we “catch” a child in an act of good behavior, they get to put a sticker on their chart! Ava is aware that if she asks for a sticker, she will not get one. (Although I will confess that I do remind her about stickers from time-to-time in hopes to encourage some good behavior!) As you can see, I drew some super-attractive and yet simple drawings on each one because, well, Ava can’t read! And my art has seemed to do the trick, because she still knows what each picture represents! The idea is that there will be some sort of reward when a chart is filled in. I’m not sure what that will be…we certainly don’t need any more things, so I think the rewards will most often be experiences, like a date with Daddy or a family trip to the park. And there could be a good bit of cheap Chick-fil-A ice cream in our future, too! (And, in case you missed when I first mentioned it – this is not my idea! I got it from MckMama, and you can click above to see her blog post about her own experience with it!)

Are the sticker charts working? Well, I feel like it’s too early to tell, but it is definitely helping me to remember to point out good behaviors! I’ve also been surprised at how much I have used them with Izzy…I was really adding a column for him “just to be nice,” but I’ve had a lot of opportunities to use the charts with him! He even got a sticker on the “Truth” chart for telling us he had pooped in his diaper – he usually will deny that he is stinky (even when we can smell him from across the room!) so that he can keep on playing. And the first time Ava got a sticker (on the “Listening” chart, as you can see above!) she jumped up and down for 10 minutes like she had just won Wheel of Fortune, so I guess she kind of digs it!

OK, although there are several other big challenges I (and my hubby!) face as a parent, these are the ones I am going to limit my blog to today! Happy Tuesday!

Kids Say Crazy Things Sometimes (Silly, Week 2)

My blog entries are too long. My hubby has ever-so-kindly pointed out that it is very, very hard for him to read them in their entirety in one sitting. I think that the teeny-tiny margins of the otherwise fabulous layout that I have contribute to how long they appear…but I digress. So, either because of that, or because I’m absolutely exhausted, I’m going to keep my Silly post as brief as I can!

So, my kids can say some pretty cool/amusing/crazy things sometimes. A lot of times my kids will say something cute, and I think, “I should go make a blog entry or facebook post with that quote so I remember what they said.” But of course, I don’t do it. So, now, I’m going to scrape out of my brain all of the cute quotes/conversations I can for your reading enjoyment.

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Izzy: Where my Lightning McQueen?

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Ava: (at the OB office waiting room after our ultrasound) So, do they know what it is now?
Me: No.
Ava: Why not?
Me: It’s still a surprise!
Ava: (very loudly) Did no one take a picture of its bottom???

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Izzy: Where my ‘Mater?

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Ava: (over breakfast the day after I shoot a wedding) So, Mother, what did the cake taste like???

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Izzy: Where my Doc?

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Me: (this is a recurring conversation) You need to be happy with what you have.
Ava: You get what you get, and you don’t pitch a fit!
(I have no idea who taught her that little mantra, but I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you!!!)

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Me: What does the cow say?
Izzy: Mooooo.
Me: What does the horse say?
Izzy: Mooooo.
Me: What does the sheep say?
Izzy: Mooooo.
etc., etc.
(That was a couple months ago. He’s figuring out what the animals really say now, and it’s not nearly as cute!)

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Ava: (waiting for Josh to pump gas) When will Daddy let me put gas in the car?
Me: When you’re 16.
Ava: But then I won’t be staying with ya’ll. I’ll be married to somebody.
(oh, yeah. That one was today!)

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Izzy: (in reference to his diaper) It in there.

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Me: (on the morning of Ava’s 4th birthday) Good morning, birthday girl!
Ava: Am I 4???
Me: Yep!
Ava: (happy dance) I’ve always wanted to be 4!!!

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Me: Izzy, are you stinky?
Izzy: NO! I not ‘tinky yet!
(he lies!!!)

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Ava: Mommy, are you wearing an undershirt or a bra?
(I get asked this almost daily. She is very concerned with what is going on under my shirt!)

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Izzy: My Lightning McQueen in my bed.

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Ava: I want you to be my mommy forever!

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Me: I love you!
Izzy: I wub you!
Me: I love you more!
Izzy: I wub you moh-er!

A Random Family Post (Sweet, Week 2)

I’m not sure what direction this post will take, but I’m going to assume, because of the pictures I have for it, that it will be Sweet.

It’s not a secret that I live in Florida, the one state in our country that doesn’t have snow on the ground right now. (Or yesterday, or whenever that happened.) However, it is actually pretty cold right now. At least, for us. As in, so cold that I put gloves on both kids when we took Ava to preschool this morning. (Don’t worry, they also had coats and hats, but gloves are not usually something that I bother with, so that is significant!) Having said that, I just want to let you know that the following pictures were not taken this week. This week does NOT qualify as a pleasant Florida winter. I took these pictures LAST week, which DID qualify as a pleasant Florida winter, with afternoon temperatures in the 50s and 60s. I want my pleasant Florida winter back!

So, anyway, LAST week, we went on a walk and out to play, and it was a beautiful day, so I had the foresight to take my camera and zoom lens with me to play. I don’t play with my camera nearly enough! We live in an apartment, so we don’t have a yard, but we are blessed to live right next to a very nice walking trail that winds its way through the woods, past some ponds, etc. There is a field that we have been letting the kids run around and play in. At least, the goal is for them to run around and play, but right now they seem to be fascinated with playing in the dead grass that someone bush hogged. (Is that a verb? It is now!) They think it is “hay”, and I think they’d be content carrying it around and building things out of it for hours.

So, now that you have some back ground for the source of the pictures (which, in my defense, are completely un-edited, so please don’t look too closely!) on to my random post about my family! (What, you don’t think that intro was random enough? Sorry, I’ll work on it!)

As you can see, I have two kids. That’s been the case for over two years now, and it’s something I’ve pretty much gotten used to. And, I have to admit, they’re pretty awesome!

But, in about 6 weeks (give or take a week or two!), this is going to change. The Linker Kid Count will be up to 3! And, although the newest addition is currently doing the P90X in my uterus, this reality has not set in yet for me. There’s something about staying busy with two kids (and a very, super-small business) that has made my pregnancy, well, not very noticeable. In fact, I haven’t counted, but I would venture to say that there are much fewer blog entries in regards to the next baby than either of the first two…because I had other things to talk about! So I thought it would be pretty Sweet if I let you in on what we ARE doing…or maybe what we AREN’T doing, in preparation for expanding our family!

We ARE going to the doctor regularly. I know you were worried about that! Actually, I am carrying this baby A LOT differently than my previous two, which is kind of weird since I already have one of each gender. I’m not nearly as big as I was with my other two. (I’m sure, if you were to see me, you would think I look great with child, but trust me, with Ava and Izzy, my belly was MUCH bigger!) So, last week, we had an ultrasound that the doctor ordered so that we could make sure the baby is OK growth wise. And he/she is just fine! The baby was measuring at 4 pounds, which is right on track for gestational age. Apparently, I’m just hiding it a little better than usual!

We AREN’T finding out the gender. Well, you already knew that, but I figured I’d throw that in there! I thought it would be super-easy to not find out; we’ve always made it a surprise in the past, and I have clothes for both genders now. But actually, I will confess on here, that I’ve been more tempted to find out this time than in the past. We will (hopefully) be moving to a 3 bedroom place during the summer, and even though I have no idea what it will look like, I’m already trying to plan bedrooms in my head! Will there be a bedroom with two girls, or a bedroom with two boys??? Will are family dynamics be influenced more by estrogen or testosterone???

I would be happy with either gender. Really. I love both of my kids, including their differences because of their genders! However, I’ll admit I’m sort of, 51%, hoping for a boy. I just really feel like Izzy would benefit SO much by having a brother close in age! And I really, really love cuddling with my little boy – and I don’t want to have to stop! But I have to say here, all signs are pointing to this one be a girl. I’m carrying pretty high, and it seems pretty natural to let “she” slip out when talking about the baby. In which case, Ava will be very, very happy.

We AREN’T decided for sure on baby names. Before she even knew I was pregnant, Ava informed us her sister would be named Skyler Rose. We think that is beautiful…but we are not completely sold on it! Mainly because I really want our baby’s name to have a lot of spiritual meaning, and there’s not much there. (Well, Jesus is the Rose of Sharon, so it can work, but it feels like a stretch.) Also, Skyler is sort of a trendy name right now, and you know me and my non-conventionalism. Other girl names in the running are Bethel Rose and Erin Hope (which we had picked out for if #2 was a girl)…but none of them are really speaking to us!

For boys, we really like the name Egan. (Allison, if you’re reading this, yes, we love you guys THAT much! We also just think it’s a really awesome sounding name!) We’re not sure what we would pair it with…we like the flow of Egan Scott (but, again, not a lot of spiritual stuff there) and Egan James (James is my dad’s name, as well as several very significant New Testament men!) Totally unrelated to Egan, we also really like the name Gabriel, but are also not sure what middle name we would put with it.

(As a side note here, I’m not really asking for advice on this. I mean, if you feel like giving an opinion, that is totally fine, but my experience with baby names is it is best to let the parents do their thing. I hate feeling like I’ll hurt someone’s feelings if I use or don’t use a particular name! We all have different taste…which is one of the reasons why there are so many beautiful names out there!)

(Oh, and just to put your mind at ease, we asked Izzy what he wanted to name the new baby, too. He promptly answered “Aurora.” Izzy thinks all babies are named Aurora!)

We AREN’T really making a lot of changes around the house in preparation for the new baby. Everything is pretty much the same as when we brought Izzy home from the hospital, so I figured we’d live well enough alone. The baby will be sleeping in our room at least until we move, and the play pin is still set up in our room from when Izzy was sleeping there, so sleeping arrangements = DONE! I’ve never actually painted/decorated a nursery before. I guess that’s kind of sad, but we are always moving right before or after a baby comes, so it’s not something I’ve wasted my time with. If our next landlord is open to us painting, maybe we will be able to personalize our kids’ rooms a little more.

We ARE, for the first time in our parenting careers, registered somewhere! I don’t need any of the “big” baby items, and I don’t need any clothes that I know of, but we are planning on continuing our cloth diapering with the new baby, so I am registered with my local cloth diapering company for those oh-so-cute tiny baby cloth diapers! If you really want to know, our registry can be found here. And, thanks to a Christmas gift from my super sis, Heather, we already have a few of these oh-so-cute items!

To wrap things up, we ARE excited about the upcoming baby! Sometimes I have to remind myself that A) I’m having another baby, and B) I am excited about it…but pretty soon, he/she will be here doing the reminding for me! They are a lot of work, but children are truly a blessing from God (I didn’t make that up, it’s in the Bible, check it out!) and we feel super blessed!

I mean, who wouldn’t want another one of these???

The post in which I am transparent about the situation with our house. (Serious, Week 2)

So, I haven’t really posted much this past year about the situation with our house. I think it was a combination of the fact that I was afraid to say anything about it since nothing was ever certain, and the fact that I’ve really become emotionally calloused to the situation. But I am due for a serious post, and “owning” a house that you cannot pay for is a pretty serious thing, so I figured it is “high time” that I posted about the situation. But for the sake of new readers (and, really, all readers who don’t want to have to dig through my archives to figure out what I’m talking about,) I’m going to try to give a “brief” history of our lives as homeowners. Brief being in quotation marks because, well, you know how wordy I am about everything.

It all started in November 2006. Josh, Ava (1 month old), and myself, were living in student housing at my college. Josh had a half hour commute to work. I was projected to graduate May of 2007, so we knew that we only had 6 months left that we would be able to live where we were. We were debating whether to stay living in the town that we were (mainly because we loved our church) and Josh continue to commute to work, or if we wanted to move to the city where he was working.

We really hadn’t seriously planned to move before I graduated. Student housing was super cheap, and although not luxury, VERY nice for the price we were paying! However, we started to do some research. We realized that we would have to move to Alabama where Josh was working because the cost of land/housing in Florida where we were was so high, and because the only rentals in the town we were were income based government housing.

On a whim, we looked at a piece of property that had a trailer on it. Nothing came of that venture, but Josh’s boss at the time, who is a licensed real estate agent on the side, caught wind of it and, all of a sudden, we had been hooked up with a realtor and were looking at houses.

Now, at this particular job, Josh’s pay was PARTIALLY based on commission. And his commission was not based on his own performance, but the performance/financial success of the company as a whole. In November ’06, his pay was very good and very consistent, so buying a house did not seem to be that unreasonable. Also, this was a time when FHA lones were available in abundance, which means a first time home buyer could purchase a home without a downpayment. What they DON’T tell you is that means you have extra fees until you’ve paid the house down 20%. But now I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, anyway, lo and behold, the beginning of December had us closing on a house. I think it is safe to say that we jumped feet first into this venture way. too. fast. We had a wonderful, Christian realtor, but we had not spent much time in prayer ourselves about whether or not to buy a house. How could we have – we closed only a few weeks after we even started THINKING about buying a house! It seemed logical at the time – we planned to stay in the area until we payed down our debt (credit cards and student loans from before we were married), our house payment would be the same if not less than what it would cost to rent a place of the same size, and at the time, the market was great and selling houses was not a problem. Even at closing, some red flags were raised, and I wish now I had followed my gut and just walked away. But we forged on through the closing, and we were home owners.

Our first year in the house was fine financially. At some point during 2007, Josh’s commission began to diminish (which, as I previously mentioned, was not determined by his performance,) but by then I had secured a part-time job which payed for groceries and that helped. However, at the beginning of 2008, when we were no longer able to meet our expenses with what Josh was getting paid, and when we discovered we were pregnant with our second child, it was clear that something had to give. Josh started to look for a better job, and he discovered that there are virtually no good paying jobs in his field in the city where we were living. So he started to look for jobs elsewhere. We had never heard of a house taking too long to sell, so at that point, we weren’t yet seriously worried about the implications of moving.

The job Josh has now is truly a blessing. Good paying state jobs are hard to come by, especially in times of financial crisis. So we were pretty thrilled to move here at the end of June 2008. We enlisted our old realtor to sell our house as soon as we found out we would be moving. And honestly, although we were concerned about the first couple months we’d live here since we’d have an overlap in having to pay rent and having to pay our old mortgage, we did not think that would be an issue very long.

I’m not an economist, but this must have been around the time that the housing market crashed. The house did not sell and did not sell. It has never even been under contract to sell. The few people that were interested in it were deterred by the fact that it only had one bathroom, and by the fact that the people who were renting the house next door at the time tended to leave trash in their yard (in an otherwise clean neighborhood.) Oh, and not to mention the fact that the few people who did want the house were unable to get financing – those FHA loans were no longer being passed out like candy when the economy went downhill! So, we continued to pay the mortgage, and somehow we managed to stay afloat. Well, I know what the “somehow” was…God’s grace.

We did not want to rent the house out because we really just wanted to be out from under the house completely. However, in spring of 2009, we finally decided to give renting a shot. We made arrangements with some friends who wanted to rent the house. On THE DAY that Josh was meeting them to sign the lease and give them the keys, there was a really, really bad rain and the house flooded 6 inches deep inside. I mean, our friends had packed all their belongings in a U-Haul truck and they were about to move in and take that mortgage off our hands, so to speak, and the house flooded. They were sent back to their old apartment, and we were stuck with a soaking wet house several hours from where we live.

We were VERY blessed to have flood insurance, so at this point, the issue was not the money it would take to fix the house, but the time. We had to take the house off the market for the whole summer while it was being repaired. However, when all was said and done, the house looked so much better remodeled than it did before! We had high hopes when we met with our realtor for her to take new pictures of it and put it back on the market. Surely now someone would buy this house; it had brand new carpet, paint, and even appliances! It looked amazing, and yet because the insurance covered all the repairs, we were able to list it at the same price we had it before! It was really a steal at this point!

However, the house didn’t sell and didn’t sell. Once 2010 started and it was evident that nobody was planning on buying, we decided to pursue renting again. This time, we put ads on craigslist and met a family who wanted to rent the house. On the day we were supposed to meet with them to sign the lease, they called us to let us know that they had some unexpected expenses and wouldn’t be able to rent that month.

In the mean time, our realtor’s overall business was so bad, she was forced to take a part-time job. Once she did this, we really felt like she had completely stopped trying to sell our house. The house was not being shown, so we knew there was no way it was going to sell. We decided to try a new realtor. We found one that came highly recommended. We met with her, got the paperwork signed, and everything seemed to be fine with her – she was professional, experienced, and worked full-time as a realtor.

Well, apparently it was a bad year for her. Due to issues in her personal life, she suddenly went MIA. She would not return our phone calls, e-mails, or texts. Josh would ask her a simple question, and it would take her a month to even attempt to answer it. This was very frustrating; we did not live close enough to our property to check on it, so we were completely dependent on her to communicate with us anything that went on in regards to our property. We felt even more helpless about the situation with our house than we did when it flooded.

Up until this point, we were being faithful in making our mortgage payment. We want to be as Christ-honoring in our finances as we possibly can. However, at some point during 2010, it got to the point that it was obvious we wouldn’t be able to juggle the mortgage with everything else anymore. I can’t really tell you details because Josh handles our finances, but he began to contact the mortgage company to let them know we were in trouble and to see if there is anything they could do to help. He did this for four months in a row, and the message he got was, “You’re a good paying customer and you don’t live in the house, so we cannot help you.” So, finally, he purposefully missed a payment. THEN the mortgage company wanted to talk!

In discussing our options with the mortgage company, Josh found out about a procedure called Deed in Lieu. It was basically signing the house back over to the mortgage company. We would take a credit hit, but not nearly as bad as if we had foreclosed. It sounded like a perfect solution for us, since we would not be buying another house any time in the near future, anyway. We turned in all our paperwork for the Deed in Lieu and prayed hard that we would be accepted. And, at this point, we stopped making our payment completely…not only could we not afford it, but the mortgage company told us we HAD to miss our payments to qualify for this!

We waited the estimated 60 days that the process would take without hearing back from the mortgage company. Then, the closing negotiator contacted us to let us know that we did not qualify for the program because our house needed to be up for short sale for six months before we would qualify. (It’s so fabulous that no one let us in on that before!) So then we started the process with our realtor (who by now, after Josh having to call her supervisor, was being a little more communicative) and the mortgage company of putting the house up for short sale…and that is where I think it is now! Although, the short sale price we are required to have is actually a little higher than our asking price was before, so I admit that I very much doubt that the house is going to sell during this six month period. (Because we have an FHA loan, HUD has to back up the short sale asking price, so the mortgage company apparently can’t just put the house up for a price that will make it actually sell.)

Even now, we are having trouble with communicating with the realtor and the mortgage company. Josh has sent them the same paperwork 3 times, and each time the mortgage company has waited a month or so, and then asked him for the papers again. In the short sale program, we are supposed to be able to decrease the price of the house by $1500 each month, but with the lack of communication between all parties, we have no way of knowing if that is actually happening. I hate to sound so negative, but the only end I can see in this situation is foreclosure.

Our lease is up here at the end of June, and we will have to move somewhere else because our lease specifies that we can only have two people per bedroom here. Not knowing if we will be done with the house by this time or not, I’m just praying that we are able to find a new land lord who will extend us some grace despite the terrible credit score we will have by this time. (I’m hoping they’ll do enough research to see that we’ve never missed a rental payment, we’re just in a bizarre situation with a house that refuses to be sold.)

So, having said all that, I don’t recommend for ANYONE to jump into owning a house. I mean, seriously, if you think there is a slight possibility that you will be moving from where you are in the next, oh, 10 years, don’t buy. Rent. I wouldn’t wish our situation on anyone!

It’s a little tough spiritually, because we are not able to pay for something we’ve committed to paying for, which goes against the grain of what we believe. I feel especially helpless since I don’t generate income, there is nothing I can do. Oddly enough, I’ve felt much more of a peace about it since we entered the Deed in Lieu/Short Sale process than I did before. God has provided for us for over 2 years…and now He is providing in a different way. There are still a lot of unknowns (like, will HUD chase us down to pay any difference between our loan and what the house does finally sell for?), but we are a point where all we can do is place it in God’s hands and trust Him.

Whoa, that was super serious, I almost fell asleep writing it! Will make up for it with some light-hearted Sweet and Silly posts later in the week!

My Underwear Makes Me Feel Like a Superhero (Silly Post, Week 1)

Well, I’ve posted Serious and I’ve posted Sweet, so it looks like I still need to write a Silly post for the week! I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, as I would like my silly posts to be at least mildly entertaining for the sake of anyone who tries to keep up with my blog. But this is becoming a difficult task, because we are so very rarely silly around here…

(hair stylings by Ava)

I mean, we would never do anything the least bit silly. It’s not like we would sit around in cow-print diapers eating peanut butter graham crackers for lunch!

Sigh. So, the first Silly topic I have to write about is my new underwear. Now, I’m going to try to be as tactful and tasteful as I can as I write this, but the fact is, if you don’t want to read about my underwear, then you don’t want to read this. It’s sort of the entire point of the post, so there’s really no way to get around it.

It all started with my sister-in-law’s lingerie shower. (But don’t worry, I wouldn’t write about her underwear, although I happen to know, since I attended that shower, that it’s cute!) While shopping for a gift, I saw a pair of underwear that I really, really liked. And it was relatively inexpensive. So I did a rather horrible thing; I bought something for myself when I was supposed to be shopping for someone else.

It was about a week before I got around to washing, and consequently wearing, my new underwear, and my excitement about the underwear was building! I realized that I had not had any new underwear at all since the Christmas after Ava was born (if you’re counting, that was 4 years ago,) despite my ever-changing pregnancy/ post-pregnancy body. The prospect of something new was pretty exciting!

But then – I tried on the underwear, and – the horror! – they did not really fit. Not at all. I was very sad. And I decided that, although it was not something I had thought about for 4 years until this point, I really wanted some new underwear. And I wasn’t even sure what kind I wanted.

So, I did what any miserly (but still wanting to splurge on some underwear) mommy would do – I went to Wal-Mart, picked out three cheap pairs of undies in different styles, and decided to try them to see if I like them before purchasing any more. On a whim, I purchased them a size up from the size I’ve been wearing for the past, oh, 10 years and…

I loved them all! Who knew that, for all these years, I’ve been wearing underwear that was slightly too small, in a style that was not nearly as comfortable as these other styles I’ve discovered?! So I went back and bought more, and I shared with my hubby the good news! Ergo, I received a Christmas stocking pretty much full of new underwear, as well!

Now, I’m probably showing that I’m an extremely simple person if new underwear can give me a new lease on life, but it is what it is. And, even if you don’t get as excited about underwear as I do, you have to admit (at least, if you’re a girl you have to admit) that, even though no one knows what underwear you’re wearing but you, the knowledge that you have some cute, comfy undies on makes you feel a little better about yourself. Seriously.

Well, if that wasn’t a very Silly post, I don’t know what is! I’m sorry if you’ve read to the end and am totally disgusted that I chose to write about underwear…but you can’t say I didn’t warn you!

Watch out, Anne Geddes! (Sweet, Week 1)

As I’ve mentioned a couple times by now, I edited a newborn shoot last week that was delightful! Some friends from church had a baby, and they agreed to allow me to use them as guinea pigs for maternity and new born practice. (The maternity pics turned out good, too, but this entry is not about them!) AND they were especially patient with me when it took me WAY too long to get their pics edited and back to them, due to me being backed up with the last couple weddings of the year, helping with my sister-in-law’s wedding, the whole family being sick about 3 times, the holidays, and me being exhausted from pregnancy and…well, all of the above! Thanks, Missy and Jason, for your patience, I promise it won’t take me so long next time!

So, anyway, the beautiful thing about newborn photography is the creativity that you can put into it. I don’t feel like this is really my forte, but I’m putting a valiant effort towards it whenever I get a chance! So here are some of my favorites…and this is going to be categorized as a sweet post because, well, it’s a new baby!

Meet sweet Julie Ann! In case her parents in later years have trouble remember whose baby photos are whose…

…we labeled her, just to be sure! (Kudos to whoever made this adorable sign!)

Something beautiful happened shortly after taking this picture…Julie Ann fell into a deep sleep! The kind of sleep in which you can do pretty much anything to the baby and they don’t care! And, in my opinion, sleeping baby pictures are the sweetest! So, that’s when we started to really have fun!

The following picture represents the apex of my photography career. Seriously, I think I need to stop while I’m ahead, because there’s no way that I could capture anything so awesome ever again.

There you have it, folks! I heart heart heart this picture. Not only does it combine two of my favorite things to photograph (wedding bands and baby feet,) but the focus worked out perfectly!

But, you say, that I make a reference to Anne Geddes in this title, and I have not yet shown you anything that is THAT creative! Well, although I can’t REALLY claim to be as innovative as Anne Geddes, I do have one more card, I mean picture, up my sleeve.

Baby sleeping in a beach bucket, anyone???

Anyway, thanks to Julie Ann for falling asleep during the shoot, and thank to Missy for letting me (and helping me) do virtually anything to her baby!

Speaking of sweet, Ava had her first day back at preschool post-holidays this morning…and that’s pretty sweet!

Serious Post, Week 1

Don’t worry, for my first serious post, I’m not going to go TOO deep. I actually wanted to take the time to do something I’ve been wanting to do for the past month but couldn’t really squeeze it in with all the 25 Days stuff I had going on. I want to write a couple reviews. First a book review, and then a movie review!

I read a book. That fact alone should absolutely amaze you, since I haven’t had time for leisurely reading, well, all year! But during November, I grabbed some spare moments when I couldn’t edit pictures to read Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Josh had borrowed it from a friend, and I decided I would go ahead and read it before we gave it back so that I wouldn’t have to track down a copy later. Since I have already returned the book, I’m not going to be able to reference it, so this review is going to be based off of my memories of the book. I’m not going to go into a super great amount of detail, because I feel like there is another blog that has pretty much summed up my feelings about this book much better than I could! Check out Lacey Keigley’s review if you’re really interested – she pretty much covers all the bases as far as how I feel about Chan’s writing style, why I waited so long to read it, and she even throws in some nice quotes from the book, so I’m guessing she still had it in her possession when she wrote the review! (I don’t know Lacey personally, I just stalk, I mean follow, her blog.) But there are a couple of things I would like to point out about the book:

First, I really recommend treating it more like a study than a book. Because of the places I was reading it (doctor’s waiting rooms, at church while waiting on Ava’s Christmas rehearsal, so late at night I didn’t have the energy to pick up a pen, etc.), I just had to read through it, like I would a novel. There were SO MANY moments where I thought “Oh, I wish I had my prayer journal so I could jot that down, because I know I’m going to forget it.” I know a lot of people actually go through this book as a part of a small group Bible study, and that’s great! But even if you don’t, I do recommend having a notebook on hand to jot thoughts and quotes down. And don’t pressure yourself to read through it really fast, give yourself time for reflection. I most certainly wouldn’t read more than a chapter a day.

Second, I would like to write down my biggest “take away,” or application, that I have from this book, just as much for me than anyone else since I didn’t write it in my prayer journal and am liable to forget! So this is what I learned, or was reminded of, from Crazy Love:

~ Our Christian culture here is very comfortable. We’ve managed to integrate the “American dream” with our Christian values, and we’ve come up with this idea of what Christianity looks like….but it is not a biblical ideal.

~ True Christians don’t do anything halfway for God.

~ Following God’s guidance is going to make you look crazy. Period. Also, the people that are most likely to criticize you and pull you down when you try to follow God are other Christians, or “Christians.” To follow God, you have to be prepared to look crazy to everyone, including the people you go to church with!

There are a whole lot of other nuggets of truth in this book, but these are the main things that have stuck with me. Overall, I enjoyed the book, and I think it is good reading for all Christians; it is thought provoking and challenging. Although his writing style is not my favorite, the meat in this book was good enough I think there is a good chance I will be one day reading another one of Mr. Chan’s books.

OK, now on to the movie review!

I saw a movie in the theater. Josh and I do this once a year, so it is kind of a big deal. Between the outrageous cost to see a movie in the theater, the difficulties of arranging a babysitter, and the fact that they just don’t put many good movies out anymore, we have chosen to be very rare frequenters of movie theaters.

BUT, there is an exception to every rule, and anyone who knows me well knows that The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is going to be an exception for me! If you don’t know me that well, The Chronicles of Narnia (the books by C.S. Lewis) were a staple for me growing up. While other kids were reading Berenstein Bears, I was reading Narnia, and before I could read, my parents were reading them to me! I love the stories, the characters, and the spiritual lessons that are taught in the meantime. Several low budget film versions of Narnia have been made through the years, but Walden Media is the first company I know of to attempt to try to put out a high quality movie based on each book. They did a great job with the first two books/films, and I was very ready to see what they would do with the third book! So, after that especially long intro, here is my review of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader!

Overall, I found the movie to be well made, and, although there were discrepancies between the book and the movie, there was nothing that took away from the spirit or themes of the book. A lot of the islands and occurrences in the book were re-arranged or combined in the movie, mainly I think so that it would fit into a 2 hour movie! (For example: the island that Eustace became a dragon on was made to be the same island where the water turned things into gold.) There was also a major plot point added that is not in the book at all: the evils/sins of the sea was personified in a green mist (think LOST monster), and the crew was not only trying to rescue the 7 lords, but they were also trying to rescue people who had been “fed” to the green mist. Consequently, the island where nightmares come true (which is where these additional prisoners were being held) was placed after Ramundu’s island, the sea serpent was also saved until then to be used as a climax, and Eustace retained his dragon form until this last battle that was created with the new plot point. Not really necessary changes, but they weren’t that bad. (In case you’re super-picky, in the movie they were trying to collect the 7 swords of the lords in order to rescue the sleeping ones on Ramandu’s island, and that was not in the book at all. The ship had to meerly sail to the edge of the world and leave someone behind in order to release the enchantments.)

Some of the major pros in the movie were the casting of Eustace (they picked an excellent actor and I look forward to seeing him in a much larger role in the 4th movie), the Pevensie children were excellent, as always, and the line at the end of the book that is so vital to the whole series was put in the movie verbatim. (Lucy asks Aslan if he is in her world, too, and he says, “I am, but there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name.” And yes, I looked that up.) I also thought that the movie was much more kid/family friendly than Prince Caspian. (Caspian had several graphic battle scenes that I think are a little much for small children, but Dawn Treader’s violence is pretty much limited to the battle with the sea serpent.)

Really, the 4th book is my favorite, so I’m not sure what excites me more: getting to see the third one, or the fact that the next movie to be made is The Silver Chair!

ANYWAY, if you just waded through all that Narniac nerdy-ness, all that goes to say that if you have money burning a hole in your pocket and want to see a movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has my seal of approval. But don’t take the movies for this series in place of the books; you really need to read them.

Project 365 – Days 364 & 365

I had totally planned to finish Project 365 on the 365th day of 2010. I mean, that does kind of make sense. In fact, I was super excited when I wrote my last post because I realized that I somehow and not miscounted my days, so Project 365 would actually end on Day 365! But in typical Kara fashion, I am 2 days late. Oh, well.

I had a hard time deciding what pictures to post as my last two. Should I pick a couple of my best photography photos from the year? (That newborn shoot I edited last week, after all, was quite scrumptious!) Should I pick a couple of the best photos of my kids? Should I try to create a sense of closure for the year? Well, the year might be over, but our lives and stories aren’t, so in the end, I’ve decided to post one photo to wrap up 2010, and one photo to be a foreshadowing, if you will, of the events of 2011.

Here are the Linkers at the end of 2010! I can post this b/c technically I did take it; I set the timer on the camera. Obviously, my skills at this kind of photography are non-existant, so this photo is definitely not up for quality. But, anyway, here we are! I can’t believe how much my kids have grown this year. At its beginning, Izzy had just started walking, and now he’s a tall, strapping (whatever that means) 2 year old! Ava has started preschool, is learning to read letters and numbers, and is getting to be very hard to keep up with mentally and emotionally. Not to mention that huge bump that is my belly which this picture doesn’t really show. 2010 was a full year with so many blessings!

OK, now on to looking forward to 2011.

Yes, my last picture for this project is a potty seat full of toy cars. Because I don’t think anything is more profound than that.

But seriously, Izzy got the potty seat for Christmas, and so far, this is the best use he has found for it. This picture is a symbol of one of the biggest challenges we will probably have in 2011: potty training Izzy. Oh, sure, there will be some other challenges: having and adjusting to a third baby, moving to a new place (and we have no idea where,) foreclosing on our old house…but, in all honesty, these pale in comparison to the thought of trying to potty train my sweet but superiorly stubborn boy. Just saying.

So, just like that, Project 365 is over! Someone asked me what I learned from this project. I’m pretty sure she was hoping for a profound answer, and unfortunately I don’t have one, (Case in Point: the potty seat), but I have learned a few things about myself:

~ Although my intentions are good, it is virtually impossible for me to blog every day. I mean I really, really want to. But I can’t.

~ I really, really enjoy blogging. I mean, it’s right up there with M&Ms. (Perhaps not the dark chocolate ones, but definitely the milk chocolate.) And it really helps me to have a structure to help direct my blog to motivate me to do it.

That being said, I have been thinking about how I can structure my blog for 2011. I have come up with a new Project, but I don’t have a name for it – maybe you can help me with that part. Here is what I would like to do:

~ I would like to blog 3 times a week. I think that is reasonable and achievable.

~ Each week, I would like to write 3 different kinds of posts: one Serious post, which would cover things like what God is telling me in my quiet times, my thoughts on “hot button” topics, parenting, etc.; one Sweet post, which would cover nice things about my family and friends that I would like to document (and give me a chance to post some pics of my new sweet baby that is coming!); and one Silly post, where I can blog about lighter topics, like my crazy bad mommy moments and my new underwear. I realize that there will be times when these topics overlap, but I still think I like this structure for my blog…so, in the end, I should end up with 52 Serious posts, 52 Sweet posts, and 52 Silly posts. Sound good?

~ In addition, I would like to have one blog entry a month as a sort of “bonus” that I will call a Supermom post. (Are you catching my pattern with the “S”s? It’s called alliteration!) This will be when I can post about my small victories in the mommy/homemaking world, from cloth diapering to saving money to cooking. At this point, I’m not going to “schedule” when exactly each month I will write this post, but if later I discover that I need a “due date” to get it done, I will consider self-imposing it.

OK, so, does anybody have a snazzy name for my new blogging project? Also, if anyone wants to jump on the bandwagon and use this structure (or a modified version of this structure) for your own blog, feel free! If you let me know you’re doing it, I might even drop a linky to your name from time-to-time (if it’s OK with you)!

Also, in case anyone else is looking for a Bible reading plan for the year, my pastor referred me to Study Light’s Bible reading plan, and I think I’m going to go with that! It looks pretty cool; each day, it actually gives you your Bible reading right there on the screen, and you can choose your translation. (I think you can also have it e-mailed to yourself or, if you’re super high tech, it can be sent to your mobile device.) However, I’m old-fashioned and like to read my Bible in the paper form (you know, a book that you have to turn pages and keep your kids from writing in,) so I plan to print out their “Month at a Glance” reading lists and keeping them with my Bible. And, obviously, I am already late at starting my plan!

But, Josh and I are in need of another Bible reading plan for this year: we need a structure for Ava’s (and Izzy’s!) Bible reading. Last year, we went through the book Jesus Wants All of Me (which is a preschool version of My Utmost for His Highest), and we would read each day whatever passage the key verse of the day’s devotional came from. This year, we would like to be a little less random in what we read to her. I have some devotional resources for kids, but I would really prefer to go heavy on the actual Bible reading and lighter on the devotional reading, if you know what I mean. (A small devotional to elaborate or explain the Bible passage is fine, but I want the Bible to also have an opportunity to speak for itself.) So, if anyone knows of a Bible reading plan for older preschoolers, please do enlighten me!

ANYWAY, Happy New Year!!! We “rang in” the new year with our friends, Bobby and Cynthia, and then I spent the majority of New Years’ Day shooting a wedding. However, while I was gone, my parents and hubby were busy de-decorating my house…so I did not have to take down a single Christmas decoration…what a blessing!!! Our friends Jim and Lauren came down to help me with the wedding, and they stayed afterwards to help us celebrate the New Year for a little while. Today, after church, Josh and I realized that we had no other obligations today, and we decided to be completely lazy. It’s been glorious, my couch and I have been such good friends! So this marks the end of our Christmas holiday season. This week, Josh will resume working 5 days a week, Ava will go back to preschool, and I will NOT be taking down Christmas decorations thanks to some already mentioned people! Christmas was a lot of fun, but truth be told, I am thankful it is over!

God’s richest blessings to YOU for 2011!